Sleeping My Life Away
by merissala
Summary: “....looked like a big cloud. It felt so soft I could sleep forever.... It's tempting, yes. Never having to deal with my problems and troubles anymore...” Completed Atoji


Man, every time I read this, it's just sad, only my opinion, I tried to make it not OOC and as angst as possible...

Sleeping my life away

* * *

Right now, I don't feel like there any reason to live anymore. Seems like the world is just a bore and there's nothing to do anymore. Not since he stopped caring. I look at things and think to myself: why? I watch things pass me by and think to myself: how come? I can't enjoy things just the way they are. Everything feels so obsolete.

But I didn't always feel this way.

At age fourteen, my life was at its best. Relaxing, fun, carefree...everything I could ever want. I had a boyfriend and he took me everywhere. Right after school, he'd always ask, actually more like a request, to go somewhere. All I would do was mutter an okay and everything was set. He planned out everything but told me nothing about them. I've always like surprises.

But then suddenly one day, when I snuggled on to his chest, he pushed me away. I looked up at him, then around. It was an hour after practice and no one was in sight. Nobody could see us so what was the problem?

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's..." he paused, almost looking like he was about to cry. Him, crying?

"Nothing, I have to go." Then he left.

He didn't even ask if I needed a ride.

The days followed after that grew worse. He somehow, maybe unconsciously, avoided me through out the whole day. He ignored me during our tennis practices and during the classes we had together. Our dates stopped all together. And well, I thought he was just being mean so I decided to ignore him as well. At practice, I slept through the entire thing. Didn't bother to wake up? Why would I bother to, if he didn't bother at all? Before, I had only woke up to watch his practice games or when he had a match with me. Since I was ignoring him, I had nothing else to do but to sleep.

During class, we had assigned seats, so I had no choice but to stay in my seat. I sat next to him, and he sat next to me, but there was no talking between us.

But once, he opened his mouth to say what looked like a 'hi' but I waved him off and looked in the other direction. At least then, he finally realized I was ignoring him. Before I turned the other way, I saw a small glimmer of sadness mixed with concern. Concern? Why would he even be concerned with me? Oh right, we were supposed to be _together._ Not that we acted like it right now.

He didn't try again after that.

Nor did I.

I didn't really like ignoring him. I wanted things to go back the way they were, happy and carefree, fun. But he deserved it. Serves him right for ignoring me.

Days passed again, and we still hadn't made up. I couldn't remember a time when we were ever like this. At times, I slept through out the whole day. Usually, I'd wake up occasionally, to do some random stuff, but somehow I didn't.

Then when I woke up, there was no one around. Everyone probably had already gone home. I missed waking up to see him dosing off, waiting for me to get up. Then I had a sudden feeling to go apologize to him and make up for everything. I really wanted everything to go back to the way it was. I thought then, that I should go over to his house and ask him why he was ignoring me. Then I'd say sorry and everything would be all right. I'd forgive him and he'd forgive me too.

I rang the doorbell and a butler opened the gates and let me in. Since I've been over many times, he already knew who I was.

I walked towards his room, fully awake. It seemed so far away. It took me awhile to finally remember where his room was. The door was shut but I could hear noises from inside. It sounded like him. I slowly opened the door to surprise him with a small smile on my face. But it immediately disappeared. What I saw took me by slight surprise.

So that's what he'd been doing. That's what he'd been doing behind my back. I should have known. The fucking bastard. Literally. I closed the door quietly and walked away. Seigaku's Fuji Syusuke was in his bed! How could he do this to me? I know we hadn't been on the best terms lately, but... I trusted him. I trusted him enough to believe that he wouldn't do such a thing. I ran out of his house and towards the bus station. Waiting impatiently, I was told by the woman next to me that the bus wouldn't' t be coming until twenty minutes later, because the last one had just left. Screw the bus, I ran all the way home.

The next school day, I slept through morning practice behind the benches on a tree that I usually slept upon, not bothering to wake up after that. I didn't care if I failed my classes, I slept in classrooms too, and so it didn't really matter if I even attended. The tree branch was sturdy and thick enough to hold me and I couldn't fall off easily. When I woke up again, I heard the school's clock tower chime. It was nearing to afternoon practice.

I didn't have the heart or energy to get up. I just didn't feel like it. I shifted around to get comfortable and I went into a deeper sleep, half hoping to wake to see his beautiful face once more. In my dream, I was lying on him, snuggling against him like he was a pillow. He looked fondly upon me. We didn't talk. The silence was nice and being with one another was the best thing ever. I relaxed and closed my eyes. It would be a peaceful night with just him and me.

If only that weren't a dream.

I woke up to find myself in a white bed with white sheets. Looking up, I saw the ceiling was white too. Everything was white, but hey, I see blue seats!

"Did I die or something," I murmured to particularly no one.

Someone came in. A nurse. She looked surprised, "AH! You woke up! I'll go contact your mother and father!"

So I'm in the hospital... how'd I end up here?

"What was that all about?" Someone else came in. It was Oshitari, followed by a Gakuto. "How are you Jirou?" asked the tensai.

"Uh.. fine I guess," I said yawning and rubbing my eyes after, "why am I in a hospital? Did I pass out or something?"

"Something like that, I found you next to a tree, looked like you fell off of it and tried to wake you up. Then Yuushi here noticed you were bleeding maybe from the fall and we took you to the infirmary," Gakuto replied.

"More like you dragged him over to the nurses."

"Che, whatever anyways, you were sleeping and you wouldn't wake up, we tried so many things! We even poured water on you! If seemed like you just didn't want to wake-"

"Gakuto, get to the point."

"Right, anyways, you've been sleeping for the past five days."

My ears thought I heard wrong, five days? Really, broke my past record of sleeping three days straight during the summer. I stretched my arms out stopped in mid-air. My shoulders was really sore. "Ow!" I jerked my arms back down and looked again. Ohtori and Shishido had come in without my noticing. There were three people left from the regular team, Hiyoshi, Kabaji and... I don't even want to say his name.

"Where's Hiyoshi?" If I also said Kabaji, they would've mentioned his name. Everyone looked at me strangely. There was a sort of awkward silence among us all. Ohtori broke it.

"He was here earlier, then said he need to head home." Everyone else kept quiet and my eyes wondered to the door. I swear I saw some flowers sticking out from the side, and an "usu" somewhere.

Oshitari was about to say something when my parent burst into the room. My mother in front, followed by my father. "Oh Jirou dear! I thought you'd never wake up!" She held on to me tightly. I missed this loving embrace, from someone...but... her breasts were suffocating me!

"M..Mom, You're..I...can't...breathe..."

"Ah! Sorry sorry!" She went on and on, while my father smiled a bit. In a little part, way in back of my brain, I wondered where he had gone. He should have been here. Despite what he did and despite that I could him doing it, I still somehow still want him to be here. I would have forgiven him if he did.

But it seems like he wouldn't. And never will be.

We had small talk; they handed me some homework I missed and updated me on any news. It was late and the regulars slowly left, one by one, out the door waving a good bye at me. I waved back. Soon visiting hours were over and my parents left also, not before telling me that I would be allowed to go home tomorrow. Soon everyone was gone. That night, I lied on the white bed, in the white room with the small white window. I looked at the heart monitor.

And then back to the ceiling.

Somehow, the room looked like a big cloud. It felt so soft I could sleep forever. That, right now, felt like the best thing to do, sleeping my life away. It was tempting, yes. Never having to deal with my problems and troubles anymore.

I closed my eyes and relaxed. This was good.

And that night, it seems like I did, because I never woke up again.

* * *

END

_This story... I don't know, took me awhile to write it, I asked my friends over and over how it was, I don't know if it helped, anyways, thanks for reading! Tell me how it was. Really bad isn't it? or maybe YOU don't think so... This POV is written in a way where I guess Jirou is in heaven… or something like that._

_I feel like I should have Jirou cry at some point but I guess not. XD_


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